Nonviolent Communication

Nonviolent Communication

A Language of Life

Book - 2003 | 2nd edition
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Do you hunger for skills to improve the quality of your relationships, to deepen your sense of personal empowerment or to simply communicate more effectively? Unfortunately, for centuries our culture has taught us to think and speak in ways that can actually perpetuate conflict, internal pain and even violence. Nonviolent Communication partners practical skills with a powerful consciousness and vocabulary to help you get what you want peacefully.

In this internationally acclaimed text, Marshall Rosenberg offers insightful stories, anecdotes, practical exercises and role-plays that will dramatically change your approach to communication for the better. Discover how the language you use can strengthen your relationships, build trust, prevent conflicts and heal pain. Revolutionary, yet simple, NVC offers you the most effective tools to reduce violence and create peace in your life--one interaction at a time.

Over 150,000 copies sold and now available in 20 languages around the world. More than 250,000 people each year from all walks of life are learning these life-changing skills.
Publisher: Encinitas, CA : PuddleDancer Press, ©2003
Edition: 2nd edition
ISBN: 9781892005038
Branch Call Number: 153.6 ROS 2003
Characteristics: xvii, 222 pages

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Summerday18
May 14, 2018

I’ve found this book very helpful to deal with conflicts that had me at a complete loss. Most of us grow up without the benefit of training in conflict resolution. Our society is quite judgemental, which the author calls a form of violence. I wouldn’t go that far, but agree that communicating without judgement gets you further. Rosenberg offers a four-step process: describing your observations, sharing your feelings, outlining your unmet needs, and finally sharing a request. It is always a request, never a demand. Demands to apologize merely build resentment. Listening skills are also discussed. Some surprising examples are provided where things might well have escalated but were brought to a peaceful resolution. An excellent sourcebook that can be referred to time and again.

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11whales11
Nov 07, 2017

I would like to pick up at the Rosemount location.
Thank you,
Rachel

ksoles Aug 31, 2013

"Nonviolent Communication" strives to help readers connect with each other in a respectful, non-antagonistic manner. The book progresses smoothly from how to start thinking differently about communicating through to putting the techniques into practice. Real-world conversations serve as examples of the discussed approaches and tie the methods together nicely.

First, Rosenberg challenges readers to distinguish between phrases indicating observation and those indicating evaluation. "He is angry" contains an evaluation; the speaker couldn't know this for sure unless "he" told him/her. On the other hand, the observation, "he yelled at me" could easily lead to the evaluation, "he is angry." Rosenberg posits that the English language often loses this distinction, resulting in hard feelings. Thus, speaking only in terms of observations provides the first key to nonviolent communication; it leads to reflective discussion in which you simply observe what the other person says and repeat it back to him/her indicating your attempt to understand.

Next, Rosenberg focuses on communicating feelings. He points out a general tendency to expressing feelings ambiguously; a phrase such as "I feel stupid" doesn't help the other person understand because stupid is not a feeling. Instead, Rosenberg advocates for taking ownership of feelings, offering the sentence structure of, “I feel ______ because I ________” as a guide to better determine the source of your feelings. Most importantly, only you can control your feelings; no one else can force you to feel anything.

Although some of the book's conversation examples seem scripted and forced, "Nonviolent Communication" does contain a host of sound advice. Ultimately, Rosenberg teaches how to identify the other party's needs and listen empathetically rather than judging. An important lesson for anyone wanting to improve communication skills.

m
mccal006
Aug 27, 2012

A wonderful book that I came across in my training to work with crime victims and survivors of violence. Something everyone could benefit from, in both personal and professional relationships

m
mclas
Jun 16, 2012

The idea that communication can be violent or not was new for me. Once I understood it - and we can use 'violent' language talking to ourselves - I value his insights into how to prevent ourselves from attacking others.
Some of it isn't new, but he shows how to use the process and provides many examples to help the process come alive. It's a valuable tool for improving close relationships and life.

m
methoosala
Nov 19, 2010

Bad cover, good book.

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